For years I wore a watch regularly. Of course I did need to keep track of the time to get to work, to eagerly check how close it was to lunch break, and especially for the time to go home.
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Had clocks in the home in every room. Needed an alarm, sometimes two, to get up. Nevertheless I was often close to on time or was late for work anyway. There was always something at home needing my attention.
Being retired now, I don’t wear a watch daily, and only sometimes do when I leave the house. I still have a clock in every room, but rarely set alarms.
I like it this way. No need to rush to have to go somewhere. No need for “time” in that sense. But oddly I do feel a sense of time slipping away. And faster than before.
When I remember an event from the past, I get that feeling of “it seems like just recently it happened.” Even guessing when, I find that I can be more than a year off! Maybe several years. “That much time?” I find myself asking.
How could this be - how could life feel this way? Time itself just moves at its own pace, never changes.
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I can’t hold time. I can’t keep it, to save some for here or there. There is no “time” to distribute where I want it. Maybe life is like climbing a mountain, daily we check the time for this or that. Once I’m up on top of the mountain, I continue on down the other side, only the going down part suddenly goes swiftly, as if I am on a raging river. Whoa! No clocks to grip onto to check the time for something. It is just all going by so fast. I can't hold on to time just as I can’t hold onto a snowflake in my hand and keep it. That snow melted into this water slide!
What is there to do now? Why not just keep living one day at a time - moment to moment. Let it pass. There is nothing to hold on to anyway. Moments and Memories gently sail by. Let me at least float on a raft once in awhile and take it all in. This is all the time I have now. Theresa M
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