All the Time

For years I wore a watch regularly.  Of course I did need to keep track of the time to get to work, to eagerly check how close it was to lunch break, and especially for the time to go home.

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Had clocks in the home in every room.  Needed an alarm, sometimes two, to get up.  Nevertheless I was often close to on time or was late for work anyway.  There was always something at home needing my attention.

Being retired now, I don’t wear a watch daily, and only sometimes do when I leave the house.  I still have a clock in every room, but rarely set alarms.

I like it this way.  No need to rush to have to go somewhere.  No need for “time” in that sense.  But oddly I do feel a sense of time slipping away.  And faster than before.

When I remember an event from the past, I get that feeling of “it seems like just recently it happened.” Even guessing when, I find that I can be more than a year off!  Maybe several years.  “That much time?” I find myself asking.

How could this be - how could life feel this way?  Time itself just moves at its own pace, never changes.

🎨 mine

I can’t hold time.  I can’t keep it, to save some for here or there.  There is no “time” to distribute where I want it.  Maybe life is like climbing a mountain, daily we check the time for this or that.  Once I’m up on top of the mountain, I continue on down the other side, only the going down part suddenly goes swiftly, as if I am on a raging river.  Whoa!  No clocks to grip onto to check the time for something.  It is just all going by so fast.  I can't hold on to time just as I can’t hold onto a snowflake in my hand and keep it.  That snow melted into this water slide!

What is there to do now?  Why not just keep living one day at a time - moment to moment.  Let it pass.  There is nothing to hold on to anyway.  Moments and Memories gently sail by.  Let me at least float on a raft once in awhile and take it all in.  This is all the time I have now.      Theresa M